Sunday, October 21, 2012

Nothing Like A Death In The Family To Make You Hate The Living...

Nine days ahead of my own dear grandmother's cancer surgery for a malignant tumor in the throat, we get the news that her sister passed. She is now the only living sister of twelve kids, and she's the oldest child.

Breaking the news to her will not be easy.

Even harder to bear than that?

The fact that "death" seems to translate to "freebies" for certain persons.

Imagine this: A woman dies in her home and only a few hours after this is confirmed, relatives are rushing over to see what they can get.

There is no mourning, no sorrow. Just, "I'm gonna get something!"

A couple of my relatives put a lock on her back door and locked her front door to keep things in check (to keep people from raiding the poor woman's house) until they can sort out whether or not she had a will and if not, agree to divide everything up equally among the family.

I wasn't particularly close to the aunt that passed. And I admit there were times when her attitude got under my skin. But I do feel that this woman deserved better than people who HARDLY EVER VISITED HER being the first ones to try and burst into her house to claim whatever they can get their grubby hands on.

This is why I'm helping my grandmother put together a will. Why I'll have one for myself, and why I'd like my parents to have one. Because outside of my own situation (as I won't be around to do anything), I do not want to end up arrested for beating the bloody hell out of anyone because I haven't had a chance to even register such a loss when a whole bunch of sorry relations show up demanding access to items.

It would be remotely understandable if they genuinely wanted something to remember that person by. But the idea of people viewing the loss of someone I loved dearly as a chance to get something for free would be too much for me and someone would wind up in the hospital.

I've seen this play out with other deaths in the family before, but seeing it right now, while helping my grandmother prepare for serious surgery, just drives home the point of how LOW some people are.

And it's also why I'd seriously advise EVERYONE to settle matters before they leave here. Because some people have no tact, taste, or human kindness. They view every passing as a yard sale, gift shop, or just straight up opportunity to grab whatever they can. But a will settles any question regarding what YOU want when it comes to loved ones (and not so loved ones) and whatever you elect to leave behind.

No person should have to deal with the nonsense I had to be privy to this morning.


pynkkashmere said...

Wow...I am sorry you had to go through that. Sometimes, family can be the most hurtful people. Hope you find strength.

Ruby said...
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Toni said...


Thanks very much. It was a difficult spell but we got through it.

I think people will try to do as much as they are allowed to get away with.