Saturday, October 13, 2012

“Macho” Little Black Girls: The Anti-Femininity War on Black Women


Note: For the purpose of this article, I'm dealing with a specifically observed issue that has nothing to do with "butch" lesbianism in black women or non-black women. What I'm talking about is not an outgrowth of self-identified sexuality, sexual expression, or a conscious decision by the individual to move away from gender norms and form their own identity. This post is on something ENTIRELY different.


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MachoismProminently exhibited or displayed masculinity....Characteristics include domineering, fierceness, bravado, and similar behavior patterns displayed showily or histrionically as being tough...The machismo of members of the human species are all exaggerated features that may cause injury to individuals that display them but attract females.


I started to bring this point up in a recent post, but the dialogue was such that it wasn't immediately relevant to that situation. Though it was relevant as an explanation as to why that woman (I thought she was a teenager at the time) behaved the way she did.


This is an ongoing problem in the black community: A direct off-shoot of the war on femininity in black women. There is a segment of self-hating persons working in collusion with white racism to undermine black womanhood in any way that they can. This is just one symptom of the viral infection.


But for the confused, here are some helpful explanations as to where these hyper-macho little black girls are coming from, and why this problem is only going to get WORSE if black women do not actively combat attempts by persons to strip us of our femininity.



Explanation One: A Lack of a Positive Father/Male Figure

This is just another side-effect of a lack of familial structure and the availability of sensible paternal figures. The anti-NWNW people can say what they want to: In ethnic groups where marriage is encouraged and fathers are EXPECTED to care for their offspring, you simply do not see the level of "macho" aggressive young women that is startlingly common in the African American community.


If you have a man present that is respectful of women, who encourages you to be feminine and delicate, and who allows you to feel protected, I honestly believe that you are very unlikely to develop such aggressive and violent tendencies. Why would you have to? You have a male provider and protector in your home, or in your family circle. You know that if someone tries to harm you, there is a man you can turn to who will defend your honor. This reinforces your sense of value as a young lady who knows what it is to be appreciated, respected, and protected by a man. Therefore, you have nothing to prove to anyone, and are mentally and emotionally free to pursue other things.


Even though my "girliness" did not catch up to me until well into college, I was always encouraged to be myself, that I was intelligent and could do anything I set my mind to. I never had any negative influences making me loathe myself for being a black woman, telling me that being a lady or delicate was "white-acting", and I was never put into a survival situation where I had to be physically hardened in order to fight off physical assaults or sexual abuse.


I think one clear explanation for this behavior is a lack of responsible, respectful, non-abusive men in the life of these girls growing up, and they end up "filling the void" left by a lack of masculine energy, encouraged to do so by their mothers who would prefer to coddle their sons in a way that they will never coddle their daughters. Black little girls in their mind must be hardened, must be the protectors and providers. They are simply "on their own".



Explanation Two: Sexual Abuse

There are many indicators that a child has been sexually violated. Some symptoms of sexual abuse are low self-esteem, cruelty, and aggressive behavior. These girls may be very angry as a result of having been violated and having no one to help stop the abuse, acknowledge that the abuse is happening, or protect them from their abuser(s). Increased aggression could be a sign that they feel that being mean and fighting everyone is the only way to keep the hands of such persons off of them. They are afraid of being seen as weak and vulnerable, because they learned very early on that being either of these things makes them desirable to predators. If black women are not mindful of the men they elect to procreate with or the men they have around their daughters, it will lead to putting their offspring in constant jeopardy.


Explanation Three: Bizarro World Occupants See Femininity As "Anti-Black"

In their desperation to keep slavery and white racism alive like the good little brain-washed helpers that they are, the GAT-DL has long declared a WAR on black femininity. They look to white people to identify themselves, that way they can get to work being the polar opposite. The problem is that many of the things being labeled as "white" does not belong to any race or ethnic group. One such thing is  femininity, or being the yin to the masculine yang. Behaving in a calm, sensible, demure, manner. Allowing yourself to be pretty, loveable, and gentle.


Since white racism has declared that only white women are actually human and every other "race" is subhuman, it is according to those doctrines perfectly acceptable to treat subhumans as no better than animals, and anticipate violent animal behaviors in them. Students of these doctines, the GAT-DL believes quite firmly that the best thing they can do is eliminate feminine black women from the face of the Earth. Even deny their existence. Black women are "h*s", "b*tches", and "macho asexuals". They are Mammies, Mules, Sapphires, and Jezebels.  Sadly, the brain-dead masses in their way affirm white racist doctrines by encouraging these girls to be anything other than feminine black women. Because in the back of their minds, expecting any sort of respect or consideration as a woman is something simply NOT for black women. They believe fully in their inferiority and resent any black woman who doesn't, and feel the need to put her in her place. Either through cruel verbal jabs, or beating and or raping her. And if they can't do it directly, they let these indoctrinated "macho non-men" do it for them.


How many of us have seen these macho little black girls attacking feminine black girls? "You think you cute?!" as asked menacingly by these girls and women is really code for "You are a feminine representation of black beauty, and that cannot stand, because white racism teaches us that there's no such thing."


There are certainly other explanations (you're more than welcome to mention), but these seem to be the major factors. Nothing happens in a vacuum when it comes to dysfunctional behavior in black people. These overly aggressive girls have been encouraged and instructed to act out in this way. To  expect someone who has been actively encouraged to be the polar opposite of a feminine sensible lady to be anything else is a waste of time. At this point, as with anything involving DBR black people,  it's best to just observe from a safe distance. 


Part II: The "Black Woman 'Machoism' Scale": Where You Lie Could Mean Life and Death

8 comments:

Aisha said...

Great post! I think most people truly don't realize how young the de-feminization of Black girls starts, nor do they stop to explore the reasons. I knew many young girls like this growing up.

"Sadly, the brain-dead masses in their way affirm white racist doctrines by encouraging these girls to be anything other than feminine black women. Because in the back of their minds, expecting any sort of respect or consideration as a woman is something simply NOT for black women. They believe fully in their inferiority and resent any black woman who doesn't, and feel the need to put her in her place."

This point really hits home for me. Not too long ago I had an encounter with a nut online who told me that I was "culturally white" because I suggested calling the police on street harassers instead of violently confronting them yourself. She went on to say that Black and Latina women know they have to fight and be aggressive, how she has more testosterone and masculine features than other women, etc. It was cra-zee! This she-male resented the idea of Black women seeking the protection of men against predatory males. Basically behaving like women.

Although that is an extreme example, I think many Black girls and women internalize these ideas about how they are supposed to act. Sadly, they don't realize that the very people encouraging this abnormal behavior will use it against them later. Sigh...

Toni said...

@Aisha

WTF?! How is calling the police on street harassers "culturally white"? This is why so many black women and girls are winding up dead: People have no concept of what law and order is for.

SMH.

Flaming_star said...

Wow! at Aisha's comment. Has it come to this for bw, are we so beat down we've just decided to chuck our femininity all together. Wow just wow!

Aisha said...

Yes ladies, I too was shocked. I don't think women should be walking around like scared little mice, but we should also have the common sense to try to avoid violent confrontations with men (or anyone). How that can be equated with "white" I will never know. It's just sad that some of us are so complicit in our own downfall.

CloudSurfer'97 said...

The strong black women is the most annoying. From a young age I was told not to show emotions, even if someone was physically bullying or being mean I had to be strong and not let it affect me. I didn't feel like I could express my emotions. At the same time they wanted to tell me to, wear skirts and dresses. So it's wrong to act like a women but it's encouraged to dress like a women?

So I refused to wear them, and was a tomboy for a long time. (I'm only 15 tho) It felt superficial, like being r2d2 in a dress.

Well anyway, my hair grew quite long after a year of wearing braids. below my shoulder. I was still a shy girl though, quiet and meek.

I went to a new (boarding) school. My friend had introduced me to her sister and her friend. They joined my small group of friends. The friend out of the blue started picking on me. My friend's sister would joke around and insult. But this girl would just take it too far, she needed someone else to go to the bank with, I came. I don't know what happened, but she started yelling at me, saying I had man legs. And hitting me. She'd yell and swear at me in the bank, people would stare, and even leave.

I think she thought she thought it was funny, I said stop. I didn't take her to seriously, I just thought she had problems. Later on, she would always be like you have so much "new growth" and I'd be like thank you and shyly smile. I don't like being fawned over too much. One time we were in the hallway and her and another girl took scissors and snipped up part of my hair...I didn't know until I heard them laughing. I started yelling at them, why would you touch my hair...I'm not even allowed to cut my hair.

They started acting rude, asking "why?" "why, arent u allowed to cut your hair?" even if not, why would you touch me.

Then one day she called me in her room with the other girl who'd also insult me, I didn't like these girls. When they'd say stuff, I'd just ignore them. And they'd call me a bitch, I didn't care for that. Then she started to reach to cut my hair, obviously she didn't understand the first time.

She pushed me to the ground and sat me (she's heavy), I almost cried. I was yelling no, no as the other girl laughed. They both laughed. I gave up, when she said just let me comb your hair into bangs. Then she cut it again, I yelled. I got furious.
I go home for winter break thinking she just cut the front.turns out...i comb my hair back and she ends up cutting a lot.

from now around my air, and very thin at the ends, a disastrous mess. I feel very sad now, and ashamed. If you saw the difference, you would cry. It's not even cut well, it's just a mess.

So I'm now I'm afraid to wear feminine clothes again, I'm not ready yet. I feel I need to protect myself. I've stopped associating with these two girls. Completely, even if that means sometimes, I have to avoid the rest of my friends too.

These kind of things can make someone hard. she started acting nice to me after cutting my hair, acting like my friend. No more violence, I officially stopped talking to her after she she hit me on the head in wonderland because of this game...I wasn't even playing. I got pisseddddddd...

Anyway, sorry for writing a story. I need to get this off my chest, and I need to move on and reconnect with my femininity and not let this world take away from my soft heart.

Chic Noir said...

I was trying to post a comment on your blog the other day and I would just like to tell you that you make some of the most well thought out and insightful comments on the BWE blogs that I read.

Btw consign this post. Black girls in the hood are preyed upon and forgive me LGBT folk but I have a theory on why there are so many butch lesbians in the hood. I think for some of these women it's another form of coing with trama.

hoodgarden said...

To the young lady who had her hair cut by those other young women who think their tough. Your lucky im not your brother or those girls would be getting it big time. Finding this blog im hoping you understand why they did what they did...basically they have serious issues and you being the pretty little thing you are made them angry. Even though I dont want you to be tough now to protect yourself you still must be smart about who you associate yourself with, many people are very skilled at the art of deception and two-facedeness and will use these techniques of smiling in your face now so they can cut your hair later. The society we live in has created alot of problems and this is one of them. But dont worry little lady stay cute and you'll be a beautiful woman with a ring and a cool, great guy when you grow up. And know that even though you cant see it we got your back :)

Ms. carter said...

I love this post, this is a subject that is rarely brought up! Buuuuuut.... I kinda have to disagree with a little bit. I. Simply. Can. Not. Staaand gender roles. I detest them. I feel no woman should have to rely on a man to feel protected and dear God I almost passed out when you said "dainty". Now for the most part I do agree & in fact re-reading it I realize that the problem is that black women don't deserve at least feeling that protection from men. I get that, I'm just too much of a gender neutral enthusiast to not cringe on some parts.