Saturday, October 6, 2012

Guess What? I'm A Grown A** Woman!

Oh, Lawdy Lawd!

It never fails, does it? Express a definite opinion about something that doesn't kiss the behinds of some IITs (Internet Ike Turners) and out they come. One particular comment annoyed me for a hot minute before I remembered that it was within my ability to eliminate with extreme prejudice. But the sentiment was a fairly common one when it comes to control-freak BM with a warped sense of entitlement regarding other people's lives and boundaries:

"If you want to date White men, that's cool."

Now, I wouldn't mind this comment so much if it came from my father or my brothers, the only black men in my life whose opinions actually matter to me. And even if it WASN'T cool...I'm a grown a** woman, and I don't need any person's permission to live my life. These backhanded "I give you my approval" comments annoy me because as Samuel L. Jackson would say, "I don't remember asking you a godd*** thing!" Not only that, some of these men act as if BW dating interracially and having their approval (which is unneeded) means they aren't allowed to talk about certain things.

I don't think so, Slappy.

And as it happens, this comment was featured in a tirade accusing me of maligning black men everywhere with this post. Yes....that post where I'm telling black women to not treat black men like gods, and hold them to the standards of all human beings was me "bashing black men everywhere".

Mmmhmm. You'll note that part where I start talking about what a good man is and ISN'T? I think someone's toes got stepped on:

"There are abusive men in all racial categories and there are good men in all racial categories.
Condemning all Black men as bad is just not accurate or honest."

LOL, what?

Nowhere did I do that. In fact, I made a comment stating pretty firmly that good and bad is subjective (it is) and I implied heavily that you have to use your common sense when it comes to judging people. An insane control freak may consider himself "a good black man" because he has a nice job, a nice car, and no debt. 

But as always with BM trolls, they give themselves away and get their feelings hurt when you point out the damaged behavior they exhibit as being wrong and NOT the qualities any woman would or should look for in a man. Suddenly, ALL black men are like them and if I'm calling their sorry behinds out, I'm speaking to all black men everywhere, good and bad.

Yeah, I don't think so. You see, this is why I don't speak up on behalf of men: You get some men so used to women spoiling, coddling, and defending them, they have no concept of how to read anything less than glowing praise and worship as something other than an a attack on an entire gender. 

These little boys think they can guilt you into holding your tongue about the backward treatment and skewed standards of black women by dictating to you what to say and think and trying to rewrite what you said to reflect a narrative that simply does not exist. Ha!

I'm going to cross-post a follow-up based on this remark, because these type of statements are HUGE RED FLAGS indicating persons who are likely abusive and manipulative. If a man trying to get with you is frequently interested in using the evils of other people to justify their own behavior, you need to watch out!

1 comment:

Connie Fused said...

If you would've posted a fluff piece where positive qualities were associated with black men only he wouldn't have chimed in with his "not all" and "other races too". He would have gladly road the coat tails of the black men in your family. These are so inconsistent.