Friday, July 6, 2012

I got a name...and it's not Mammy.

I am not a coddler. It's not in my nature to coddle people who are old enough to know better and don't care. Now, this isn't to say I'm a meanie who hates children.

On the contrary. I adore kids and feel far more patient with them than I do grown ups. Because they are kids and they don't know any better. If they are wrong, I'm more likely to look at the parents than the child since that's who is responsible for them.

Speaking of which, I would like everyone to go and flag this video:

As far as I'm concerned it's child abuse and completely inappropriate. There is nothing, NOTHING at all cute, sexy, funny, or endearing about a child having grown women shaking their tails in his face. Ask yourselves if this video would be treated nearly as lightly if it were a little six year old girl singing while grown men swing peen in her face.

Chris Hansen would ride in on an elephant and Falcon Punch (TM) every adult present into the 5th dimension.

I know that society likes to pretend that sexualizing little boys isn't nearly as harmful, but it is. ESPECIALLY little black boys like this one who will not grow up with a healthy idea of what women are like and how they are supposed to be treated.

This video deeply disturbs me because it reminds me of a recent post I made on the subject. Some people aren't connecting the dots, but I most certainly am.

What you are seeing is a symptom of a community that asks black women to both be mothers and sex objects to man-children (or in this case, literal children), while having no real authority or respect. People keep telling themselves that there is nothing wrong with removing a sane paternal figure from the picture while pumping out children like this little boy. And if you think things are bad now, I have a funny feeling it will get worse. Much worse.

But I have gotten off track: I want to make it clear to people who are confused as to my part in the BW/IRR collective: I am not your damn mammy. I am not mama. I am not mommy. I am NOT your maternal figure sent to wipe your behind and clean up after you and treat you like the child you know perfectly well you are NOT.

As I stated before, children messing up isn't upsetting to me. Like that dear little boy in the video. He is clearly an innocent child who does not appreciate anything that is going on. When a child doesn't understand, you can afford to be patient with them. Because they're little and still learning.

But there is a biiiiig difference between a little child that doesn't know any better and a grown as HAYELL adult who not only knows better, but does not care. I think it's pathetic that adults try and pass off their willful ignorance as "child-like" and expect to be treated as children. I do not coddle adults. I do not pretend that people who are willfully, triflingly ignorant deserve the sort of patience and compliance that a child does. That is just insulting to my intelligence, which is a no-go.

You want to be "there there'd" about your bad life decisions that you try and pass off as something to aspire to? You want to be coddled as you laugh at sane, functional persons making rational and fruitful life choices? You want me to pretend that even when you do so, you are not a hypocrite who yourself opted to pass on wanting and being better (but can't stand the thought of someone else doing so)?

Not happening. 

Get out of my face. I am not your mammy.


Dee Dee Russell said...


giggles said...

The chris situation, right? the clustercuss that will not end. i don't understand why you all don't just ban the trolls and be done with it.

Toni said...


It would be easy if you just banned and silenced everyone, but sometimes, like I said on the site, people have to see foolishness play out.

I wrote about "polite" and not-so-polite poisoners in the past. And people thought I was exaggerating. Some people cannot or choose not to comprehend that some people are really that twisted. So I figure there's nothing better than actual proof.

It's nice to have a point of reference for what you're talking about. You and I know what an indoctrinated woman looks and sounds like, but not everyone does. How does showing those comments benefit some people? The same way as watching car wreck footage in driver's ed. You know what it looks like, but the idea is that you never actually crash a car yourself.

If you read my post on indoctrination, I made it CLEAR that being in such spaces as BBW, in interracial relationships, etc. cannot protect you from being an indoctrinated black-male identified black woman.

It's not always enough for me to say this....sometimes you have to look at people acting this out and see it for yourself. Some people can read the posts and get it, and other people need to see the behavior to make the connection.

As for the persons who showed up, they were gonna be banned all along. Between me and Brenda, it was a done deal. They just served to prove the point referred to earlier in this comment.

Toni said...

Actually @giggles

Thanks very much for this comment. It's given me an idea for something to write about.

Thanks for visiting!

Miss Toxic said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MA Adams said...

"I am not your damn mammy. I am not mama. I am not mommy. I am NOT your maternal figure sent to wipe your behind and clean up after you and treat you like the child you know perfectly well you are NOT." <<<<THIS is awesome!

Keep speaking the truth Toni!