Sunday, January 22, 2012

Of gold diggers and not-gold diggers....



It's time to address something that's going to get under the skin of some black women who need to face facts. Ready? Not every light skin, non-BW/WW with a successful black man is a gold digger. There, I said it.

It is of great concern to me that this might be a popular belief among some BW for a couple of reasons:

First, because if the logic were reversed, and we were to say every black woman looking to get with a successful (as in not broke, not been to jail, not trifling, basically daring to aspire for better) non-BM is a gold digger, then how would you feel? Like you've heard it before, and it's tiresome. And if you yourself are not a gold digger and you have no use for ridiculous stereotypes, why on Earth turn around and fling the accusation at every non-BW everywhere trying to get with some famous or wealthy black man? You can't have it both ways: You can't complain about how unfair a stereotype is, and then reverse it to fling at every non-BW/WW. The truth of the matter is, it's just not a becoming trait.


Second, let's assume that it's true that these men want and are with gold diggers. And make no mistake, there isn't a man today that's attached to a gold digger that doesn't know it. There is an exchange going on in that relationship to which both parties have agreed, even if the general public isn't privy. So then, am I supposed to sympathize with the BM who has been taken for half of everything he owns by that "non-BW jezebel"? Let's remember that usually these very public divorces follow too-true accusations of cheating, abuse, and humiliation. Suppose the guy is a scumbag. I'm directly my vitrol at the woman WHY? Oh yes, because I as a black woman wouldn't have the chance to dig gold. It's a fact that many of these color-struck negroes would not allow a dark, non-Eurocentric featured BW to pull the wool over their eyes, but last I checked, this wasn't what a self-actualized BWE supporter was aspiring to in the first place.


I love some folks the most, but they need to let go. If you are looking for quality men and loving relationships, then you need to focus on that. Stop taking the fact that a lot of these men wouldn't look at you twice personally. Do you want to be some sorry black man's personal Kim K? Is that how you want to be seen by others? As someone who is only valued for a few questionable traits and nothing more? At the same time, stop giving the stank eye to EVERY single high-profile (and especially if the person is damaged) BM who makes it clear that they don't want you. You should be thanking them. That's one less simpleton you'd have to remotely consider wasting time with. If he wants a vulture, let him be picked clean. That's his business and his choice. At the same time...maybe he just loves someone who isn't black. If he can expand his horizons, then so can you right?


1 comment:

Andrea Thorsen said...

"If he wants a vulture, let him be picked clean. That's his business and his choice. At the same time...maybe he just loves someone who isn't black. If he can expand his horizons, then so can you right?"
~Toni

I could not agree more. I hear so many women who claim they are done with BM going on and on about who some low-life, yet famous BM is going around with, as if it matters in their daily life. They so need to get over it.

If these BM were poor and obscure, and had the same personality and character traits, they would run from them like their name was Ted Bundy, and they know it.