I intended to have a good hiatus until some time in December, but there really is no point. Anyway, glad to be back. :)
I came across this via BBW, and absolutely had to speak on it. Especially after word-vomiting all over poor-Chris's blog. What can I say...I have a lot of feelings. LOL.
Anyway, the blogmistress Velour runs a blogsphere for interracial relationships, and some "black love sista soldier" decided to creep into her space. This is an issue I will always have with these persons: Rather than occupy "black love" spaces with BM and BW who feel the same and just be together in their mutual phenotypical bliss, they need to go into IRR spaces and dictate the terms. They would much rather expend energy telling complete strangers how to think, feel, and love than think, feel, and love what they claim to care about so much.
I have a theory about why this occurs: There are more likely to be BM in IRR spaces than in BL spaces.
Think about it. Some DBR BM, who have serious mental and emotional problems to begin with, hate the idea of BW with anyone who is not black, let alone married to the person and happy and functional. A lot of BWE bloggers are happily married. Heck, even the ones like myself who are not married are not safe from these trolls because even though we're not in a relationship, we are not in a place mentally and emotionally where we are bound to them. We make up a population of BW that they simply cannot never will have. To say the least, this chaps their hindquarters something fierce.
So, they elect to come into these spaces and show their behinds. BM are, as bloggers like Evia have noted, more likely to obsess over BW who are wanted by WM and other non-BM than the BW who throw themselves at their feet, declaring their love and racial pride at the top of their lungs.
So what are these women to do? Go where the BM are! So they follow them into these IRR spaces. And like the good lap dogs they are, they echo their cries of "black pride" and "self-hate" and yadda yadda yadda. Both hoping to shame other BW away from being free and happy and to somehow magically impress those DBR males who will not give them anything more than a pat on the head. I guess it's better than nothing, right?
But suddenly, it makes a lot of sense. At the same time it's just really sad and pathetic if you think about it. These BW probably would love to have a space with these BM where they can talk about how much they love and worship each other. A place where these BW feel validated and valued. Especially the very dark, non-mixed, Afro-feature, not Euro-attractive BW. It would probably be nice to have a webspace where they could have men not fixate on why their hair is nappy or why they "can't grow hair like white women", or how BW below a certain skin shade don't do it for them, or how BW are both emasculating BM and yet won't support and love them like a mother. A space of pure love. But such a space does not exist, and certainly not without conditions.
And so, they descend into BWE spaces.
I do wonder if these women ALL believe the crap that they type, because I doubt the poor logic spewed could ever be universal. I think there are a few who have drunk enough of the kool aid to buy into it, but I think mostly it's a combination of envy and hoping to look good for those "brothas" who may be watching. Maybe one of them will be so impressed with how they stood up for their race that they'll send them a PM and maybe they can arrange to meet sometime.
...Keep dreaming, hon.
Anyway, the links inspired a lot of thoughts, hopefully to make up for my lack of major activity. I'm going to speak on them all separately, with this being the first part. The next will deal with the "Give A Brotha Every Chance Possible", the bastard son of "Give A Brotha A Chance". Clearly the spawn is more needy than the predecessor.
In the meantime, any thoughts on the theory?