Tuesday, October 4, 2011

The nightmare of self-accountability in the digital age...

The above video was found through this post, and highlights a fundamental issue, concerning how to conduct one's self on the internet.

Many young ladies, drunk off of the wine of youth and left with the sense that in the 21st century, you can do ANYTHING and not suffer consequences, have taken to behaviors on the internet that are simply not becoming.

They cry "slut-shaming" if you attempt to inform them that spreading their ladybits while lying on their backs and then posting the images to the internet for anyone to see is not a good idea.

I don't believe in "slut-shaming". To be blunt, I don't believe you can shame the unashamed. However, I do think it's worth noting that in today's increasingly digital world, a woman cannot afford to be coy or stupid, or to pretend that the ideals of feminism are reflected by immediate reality (SPOILER: They aren't.)

FACT: If the first impression a man has of you is that you are a sex object, because that is the image you put forth of yourself, then that is the image that is going to stick.

FACT: More and more employers are including the online activities of their prospective employees as part of their background checks for jobs.

FACT: There are consequences in the non-digital world for actions and events in the digital world; despite your efforts to "compartmentalize" your "online" and "IRL" behavior, they are not separate things.

This is why I am not about to put anything regarding my body parts online, and why I'm happy that my name is an odd combination of common and extremely rare (basic first and last name, very specific middle and hyphenated ending). Nothing really pops up for me aside from my artwork.

So the basic impression is, "Wow, she's a nice artist!" :D

I am not about to hinder that by cyber prostitution, and I don't advise anyone else do the same, especially as a black woman.

It's a stone cold fact that our image is not protected, and regularly drug through the mud. Who the heck in their right mind would contribute to negative stereotypes regarding black women as hypersexual cattle?

It's a no-go for any woman with class, decency, and a sense of self-respect.

If you don't want to be confronted with your virtual dirty laundry, the best bet is to simply not have any.



Demita said...

Excellent post, there were two women on the beyond black and white blog link you referenced that kept arguing and defending this behavior. They saw nothing wrong with it!!!

Betty Boo said...

@Demita yeah let me tell you those two know-it-alls just wanted to argue and tag team kissing each others behinds while they justify to the death why that kind of behavior has no consequence. I finally had to leave the conversation. the tug of war with a fool ends when you drop the rope. Do not engage them! Chris and Toni are right on in their blog posts but women like that will never get it.

BB said...

This is a really good post I am from an older generation and these young women just don't see how these actions can affect them later on. I remember being in High School when Vanessa Williams was crowned Miss America in 1984 and how excited I was, then those photos she did as a struggling college student came out. She admitted it was a lapse in judgement, but it cost her the crown and she had to work doubly hard to succeed. She did it and I applaud her but those photos are a permanent record in her history.

Things like this always catch up with you eventually, the social media just brings it to light faster. This generation better wake up becasue even though they may take the pictures down, unless your page is "protected" someone is copying and saving those photos you think are cute and sexy today won't be 10, 15, 20 years from now when there is a chance they may come back to haunt them.

signorinabella said...

Such a great post. Being accountable for one's actions seems to have exited stage left. It amazes me how many people don't comprehend the permanency of what one posts online - it is there forever. Forever.